what do I do with a 14 yr. old daughter that sneaks out of the house and runs with a bad crowd?

September 8, 2009 9 Comments
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crazymom asked:




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Tags: , , Adolescent
9 Comments to “what do I do with a 14 yr. old daughter that sneaks out of the house and runs with a bad crowd?”
  1. foxybabe0483 says:

    from experience…im going to tell you that all she really wants is your approval which is really hard to get from mothers. when i done that to my mom she sat me down and told me that she didnt really like the crowd i was hanging out with and that sneaking out of the house wasnt the best way to do anything. She tried grounding me a million times but that just made me hate her even more! so we sat and talked again. this time she told me that i could smoke as long as i promised to quit smoking with her help and that we would do more together as a family instead of me always with a friend. i think you should tell her that its not the smartest thing to do (smoking) and that you would like to spend some quality time with her so u can try to get her to see where you’re coming from. this helped a GREAT deal with my mom. We’re the happiest family around and it was all to movies, shopping, and actually talking it out instead of groundings and punishments. whichever route you choose…good luck…and tell me how it all goes. my e-mail is look forward to hearing from you.

  2. tinkiedisto says:

    Move. Send her to a private school. Or you could always call the cops when she runs away and say she not being obedient.They might set her straight. Its all called “tough love”

  3. i dont know what your work schedule is like but i was the same at her age. my mom got me involved in the things i showed interest in, i went to figure skating lessons and art classes. we also spent more time together just doing trivial things like grocery shopping, cooking or helping her pick out new colors for the house. just remind her that you will always be there for her and that she should feel comfortable with asking you questions without you judging her, girls her age are very curious. i know that back then i was trying to establish myself as an individual and was hostile towards any kind of authority. try to be a friend until a situation calls for you to be a parent. having a role model is a great alternative also, i found an older girl to confide in and hang out with and she helped me out alot. if you would like anymore information or if your daughter wants someone to talk to, my s/n is elleinadhXc and i will try to help as much as possible.

  4. Let what will be…be. There is not much you can do accept take the best care of yourself as you possibly can, whatever it takes. People don’t change until they are ready to change. Sometimes being ready takes hitting the very bottom of the barrel. Hard to watch, yes, but there it is.

  5. beth_jj_love says:

    Speaking from someone who used to sneak out at your daughters age, my mom straightened me up real quick. She tried all the grounding, the talks that werent heard, and the threats. I suggest doing what my mother did. Give her all of the negatives to scare her. It really worked on me. Tell her about the creeps that are out there today looking for young girls like her. Tell her even if she isnt using drugs, people who know her friends do, will forever assume that she is too. I got that lable myself. Tell her you’re not doing this to punish her, but because you love her and dont want anything to happen to her. My mom even went as far as getting me finger printed “just incase” something were to happen, like go missing or something. That made me think twice again before sneaking out. Dedicate a night for family night and enforce it. All I know, to this day, I’m still a bit sciddish to go outside at dark by myself. Good Luck.

  6. flrdaboy15 says:

    well u should be involved in your daughters life and be strict and if u have to punish her

  7. yoonixa says:

    She’s calling for your attention. Talk to her, heart to heart. It’s time to reconnect with your daughter. Take her away for a holiday and tell her you love her so much that it hurts that she’s hurting herself.

  8. mom2be823 says:

    Im 18 and i learned the hard way on that what my parents choose for me is probably best… When i was 13 i went completely rebellious, i was smoking cigarettes, drinking, i wasnt doing drugs til i was 17 but i was sneaking out, inviting boys over when my dad wasnt home (my mom passed away when i was 6 so she wasnt around) i lost my virginity at 16 (big mistake) and from then on i had sex whenever i could with whoever i could… i thought that getting married was the answer and that my dad was just out to get me. When i was 16 shortly after having a sex rampage i found out that i had 2 STDs that cant be cured.. herpes and HPV.. both severly affect me now… When i was 17 i moved out of my fathers and into a close family members house. When i started hanging out with there daughter i started doing drugs like cocaine, Ice and weed… i wasnt in the place that i liked so i left and lived with my boyfriend… but the smoking and drinking just got worse.. since the age of 16 ive had 2 miscarraiges and i am currently 10 weeks pregnant with a baby that will never have its father because i made a bad choice in character… i now not only have to deal with the fact that i will never be able to just go out with the girls or do the fun stuff at the right age but now when i want something i cant get it cause i need to get diapers or baby stuff… i have had to go through withdraws of cigarettes and weed because i want my baby to be as healthy as possible… i know my mistakes and there are more then what has been stated, but i just wish i would have listened to my father and not rebelled as much… Teens are going to fight there parents because nothing they say is fair or so they think. My biggest suggestion is to not let her have her way.. its sad that im 18 and saying this… but its for her own good because i hate where i am at and i would hate anyone having to go through what i am going through.

    There is a alarm that you can get that goes on her window that once that window moves up the slightest bit it will go off… and only you and the code can deactivate it. Take her to a maternity ward and show her what sex can really bring.. hell i dont know where you live but i would be more then happy to talk to her and try to make her realize the mistakes shes making.. i wish someone would have done the same to me… Show her the lungs of someone who has been smoking (the charcoal lungs scared me). Show her the bums on the side of the road the rough things that can happen if she doesnt straighten up… and if nothing else theres always boot camp. Im currently enrolled in Job Corp. which has helped me a great deal.. i have been put on medicaid to pay for doctors visits and i will soon be signing up for WIC. I got my GED a couple months through the program. I would suggest this program for her as long as you dont get soft hearted. its hard but this program teaches (or at least taught me) to take responsibility of my education and myself… i am about to get certified in Bussiness Office Technology and am starting to realize what i need to do to be able to take care of myself and my child.. I get paid for going to school and everything is paid for (housing food medical etc)
    I hope that your daughter realizes soon what she is doing before its too late… i wouldnt want her to end up like me.

  9. momydrst2001 says:

    WELL THATS WHAT KIDS DO, MOST OF THEM ANYWAYS, HERES A EXAMPLE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GIRL AT THE AGE OF 15. SHE WAS HANGING AROUND WITH A BAD CROWD AND I NOTICED HER MOODS WERE CHANGING EVEN GOING TO SCHOOL BECAME A PROBLEM, I GOT NOISY AND STARTED SEARCHING HER ROOM AND STUFF AND GETTING TO KNOW HER FRIENDS AND THERE PARENTS , WELL I ALLOWED HER TO STAY A T A FRIENDS HOUSE AND I SPOKE WITH THE MOM AMD SHE PROMISED ME SHE WOULD BE WITH THE KIDS ALL NIGHT AND WHEN I GOT OFF WORK I CALLED THERE TO CHECK ON HER AND IM GLAD I DID,NO ONE ANSWERED THE PHONE SO I GOT WORRIED AND WENT THERE AND THERE WERE LIKE 5 OR 6 KIDS IN HER BASEMENT ALL MESSED UP ON DRUGS AND MY DAUGHTER WAS ALMOST DEAD AND THEY WERE JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING AT HER , I CALLED SOMEONE TO COME GET HER AND TOOK HER TO THE ER AND FOUND OUT SHE HADOVER DOSED ON 36 PILLS AND THEN SHE RANAWAY BECASUE SHE WAS SCARED, I CALLED THE POLICE AND THEY LOOKED FOR HER FOR 3 DAYS , I WAS THE ONE THAT FOUND HER AND I TOOK HER TO THE POLICE STATION AND HAD HER ARRESTED AND SHE WENT TO COURT AND WAS PLACED ON PROBATION AND AFTER LONG TALKS ABOUT MESSING UP AND ALMOST DYING SHE ASKED THE P.O FOR HELP AND WAS PLACED IN REHAB FOR 4 MONTHS, IT DIDNT STOP HER FROM WANTING TO GO OUT BUT IT STOPPED HER DRUG HABIT, I DID WHAT THEY CALL TUFF LOVE AND IT HURT ME MORE THEN HER, BUT SHES HERE AND ALIVE THATS ALL THAT MATTERS AND SHE THANKS ME EVERYDAY FOR WHAT I DID FOR HER.GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR CHILD

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